"Love it!"
"Great idea!"
"I'm in!"
These are just snippets of e-conversations I've been included in over the past couple of weeks. Generally, they have been responses to invitations to holiday parties (one of which I'm hosting), or groups (of which I am a member) chipping in for a gift. The problems are two-fold (hang-on, I just received an alert…gonna check my e-mail…brb), first: my smart phone which I have set to notify me – with a delicately realistic water-drop sound effect – when I've received an e-mail. The second: people don't think before hitting 'Reply All'..
'RA' is the digital equivalent to 'Tell Everybody'. Imagine if such a technique was employed before the advent of electronic communication, using snail mail: an invitation would wait patiently in a mailbox fixed to a surface outside the front door of your home; when you returned from work, or a workout, or whatever chore pulled from your bed that morning, you might rescue the envelope from the cold, to the warmer, safer confines of your dining room table or kitchen counter. Later, once your coat was hung in the closet, the groceries were unpacked, and the kids had their noses in their textbooks, you might sit down with a coffee or tea and begin unveiling the day's postal deliveries. One of those might be an invitation. The notice would either include a phone number with which you would RSVP, or – if it were a solicitation for a more formal function – there may be a return envelope (postage included!) and reply card which would be filled out, and returned to the sender with the assistance of the men and women of your national postal service.
You were most likely not the sole invitee, but, despite that, you would not send your snail mail reply to every single person on the guest list. Imagine your snail mailbox engorged with a dozen or a hundred replies sent not only to the party's host, but to you, as well, a potential guest. Such is the reality since the development of Reply All.
Not only does RA create more e-management for recipients; it adds bit-size politics to social gatherings. Potential guests are now kept constantly abreast of an ever-changing list of attendees. Will so-and-so be there? Will I be alone? Will it be crowded? Will I have to hear John Doe prattle on about his snow-blower as was the case in 2010? At the very least, e-vites solve part of the problem; a site through which invitees respond to, and may keep themselves informed about, fellow party-goers at least does not force everyone to sift through e-RSVPs. E-vites appease those who need to snoop stealthily through a maturing guest list without the whole exercise becoming WikiLeaks.
The same protocol should apply for responding to unsolicited – but possibly helpful – information. Well-meaning family members and friends often warn me of outbreaks of certain illnesses in the neighbourhood, or school. Parents – hi Dad – will send along studies regarding nutrition, politics, child-rearing and the Arab Spring. The argument in favour of delivering this information is clear: the sender feels it is beneficial to the recipient. Once it's in your inbox, your options are: delete, reply, forward…and Reply All. Here's where RA can get really ugly. If the information is sent to a large group, the downpour of 'Thanks!', 'Great Info', 'Here are some other interesting sites', and 'Here's how we handled the problem' can be enough to leave one soaking in e-formation…especially when one sets their smart phone so it alerts them – with a delicately realistic water-drop sound effect – every time an e-mail trickles to the inbox.
Ok, now it's time I accept some responsibility for my own misery. Since I purchased my smart phone, less than a year ago, I have become enamoured with not having to log onto my computer to check my e-mail; I just listen for that sublime 'drop'. Of course, upon hearing the 'drop', I posses the freewill to ignore it. Sure. Do you ever eat just one potato chip? Me neither. What can I say? I need to know. Is it ego? Is it an excuse to step away from whatever chore I'm embroiled in? What if it's someone commenting on my blog?! Sure, I could turn off the notification. Sure, I could just delete the unwanted messages. But, I don't want to turn the faucet off…I love the 'drop'. And as for deleting messages, shouldn't the recipient have as much right to expect people to control the urge to Reply All as the sender feels they have to spread their message?
Tell you what. No one likes anyone who points out problems, yet offers no solutions. So let's try either these e-mail etiquette rules, or try mine:
1) Upon reading a message: before hitting Reply All, ask yourself: 'Is this message important enough that, before computers were invented, I would call or write someone about it?' If the answer is yes: go ahead, Reply All. If not, just Reply or Delete.
2) If you're enjoying this blog…forward the link to as many people as possible…forwarding is always allowed;-)
KennyBodanis.com 
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