Att’n Betsy Hart: Modern Men Marry Mountain Climbers

A red spot on my forehead remains from when I slapped it moments ago.

On her blog re-posted here, by the Chicago Sun Times, Betsy Hart explains why she hates this TV commercial: 

 

I'll let her explain why:

"Well, let me offer this: Her Citi “thank you” points are not going to keep her warm at night. And they are not going to help her with the baby if she gets pregnant by the boyfriend she doesn’t think she needs to marry. Or, rather, who doesn’t think he needs to marry her. So what’s to keep him from finding a younger, more attractive rock-climber?"

she continues:

"Few real women actually think like this, of course. They don’t want to man up themselves; they want the men they love to man up. And whatever we want in our professional lives, most women want marriage, and children, and a man who will pursue them and, in some tangible way, care for them. That’s how we are built."

Before I continue, I will make a small adjustment to my wall calendar: 2012, 1997, 1986, 1961.
There. Better.

Let's talk a little about: the women's movement, Gloria Steinem, and Veterans Day (or Remembrance Day, at it's known here in Canada). The movement, its most recognizable leader, and thousands of soldiers fought very different battles to win a very similar ideal: the right to choose. The right to be free. The Freedom of Choice.

It is not for me to encapsulate Ms. Steinem's  teachings in my silly little blog, but the message I took away from her efforts, and the message I impart to my 5-year-old daughter is: she does have to be a mountaineer; but she can be one if she wants to.
She doesn't have to be pursued by a man, marry him, and have children with him; but she can if she wants to.

With decades upon decades of male-centric advertising rightly criticized for handcuffing women by framing them repeatedly in kitchens and coiling wires from vacuum cleaners, it's refreshing to watch an athletic woman coiling climbing rope instead.

I'm sorry if Ms. Hart is left with feelings of inadequacy. I experience similar feelings whenever I see Mr. Clean: a muscle-bound behemoth, with an earring, who loves cleaning my house "'till everything is shiny"…try living up to those expectations, Betsy.

When my daughter asks about this female mountaineer, I'll tell her this:
She climbs the mountain for the same reason anyone climbs a mountain: because she wants to; because she can. Because it's there.
I'll explain to her she never has to climb a mountain she chooses not to climb. She can choose to dance, or fight fires, or repair hearts, or style hair, or defend rights, or wrestle, or dive…or climb mountains.

When she asks what I expect of her, I'll answer: "I expect you to be passionate about your choices,  and dedicate yourself to them. I expect you to be generous with others, and kind. I expect the intelligent person you are will rub off on those around you, and influence them positively. I expect you to be strong-willed, and fair. Committed, and flexible. Loving, and self-assured…
…like your mother, who asked me to marry her more than a decade ago." 

That's 'man-ning up'.

Photo Credit: Women's Adventure Magazine