Guest Post: 5 Steps to Maintaining Your Marriage by Dominique Goh

The wedding celebration is over, the guest has left and the wedding gown is sent of to the dry cleaners before it is being stored in the cupboard. Life is back to normal after the honeymoon. You are back to work at the same job. Nothing physically has changed to you but now onwards you are living your life as a couple instead of an individual.
Being married for 11 years I know that it isn’t all a bed of roses. Marriage is no fairytale. It’s something which needs constant work and attention.
As a wife and mother of three I feel exhausted at times at the end of each day after spending the time preoccupied with the kids and household. Even though how hectic daily life is I still try my best to spend some time with R while unwinding from the day’s events when he is home.
Here is a list of things which I have done to help maintain my marriage.
5 steps to Maintaining Your Marriage

1. Spend at least 5 minutes a day connecting with your spouse.
   This can be by just dropping a short text message asking whether he has taken his meal or that you are looking forward to seeing him back home tonight.
2. Be Open and Honest
   It is essential to have trust in a relationship. I do share my thoughts and concerns with R and we do agree to disagree at times and to respect each others opinions and wishes.
3. Remove the toxic people from your circle.
   It can be very distressing to have people around you who love poking into your relationship and trying to run your life. I’m sure you have heard about the Mother-in-law from hell and other similar associations. I’m blessed to have in-laws who are non-invasive and we get along very well. However I did have to associate myself from a few acquaintances which were not family friendly and tried to sow discord between R an me.
4. Schedule Date Nights/Couple Time
   As my kids are still relatively young at 20 months, 5yrs and 8 yrs old we haven’t been able to go on date nights as yet. However we did manage to attend a couple cooking class and it was really fun.
5. Make it a point to give yourself space for personal development
   For a marriage to grow and be sustained you must also allow yourself to develop as time goes by. Only when we are able to grow personally are you able to bring new zest into a relationship.

 
Dominique Goh, Singaporean elementary school teacher, freelance writer and mom of three who is passionate about parenting and educating kids. In her free time you can see her dabbling in photography, cooking and cake decorating and blogging at Dominique’s Desk.